This is the last post that I am going to leave on this blog before I deactivate for, at the very least, a while.
It came to my attention today that a fellow blogger, who shall remain nameless, even though I was not given that same courtesy, devoted an entire blog post to my 'situation' a couple of weeks ago. The excuse this blogger used for this behavior was that two of my children had contacted her via PM and she was merely informing me of that when I accused her of being a busybody and blogstream gossip. Because I blocked her from my blog she felt that she had the right to discuss, some people might call it gossip about, my situation on her own blog since she was no longer welcome to talk about it at mine. This, from a blogger who has not commented on my blog in many, many months. Yes, I get that you are suddenly 'concerned' for me. Please save it...I don't need the concern of someone who claims they don't fight their blogstream battles via PM's. Excuse me? And just WHO informed one of my favorite bloggers, one who has now blocked me without the benefit of any explanation, via PM about the fracas over at Questionstream? In spite of his action, I still trust him more than I do the one I have come to know as a blogstream busybody and buttinsky.
Why would this person, after pretty much ignoring me and not leaving comments on my blog for almost a year, suddenly have such concern for me? I am at a loss. She contends that she was just telling me to get the advice of a lawyer and stop turning to the blogstream for 'advice'. To that I say, your reading comprehension is faulty.
And just HOW am I supposed to 'get a lawyer' with NO CAR, NO PHONE, AND NO MONEY! What part of that scenario did you not get? As for the second point...I am not so ignorant that I would go to people like yourself for 'advice'. Are you high? My blog posts are documentation. I have been told by another blogger whom I considered a close friend that what I am writing is "ugly" and I should stop it and stop it now. Gee, I'm sorry, my old friend, that I am not perky, bubbly Little POH right now. I'm also sorry that you feel that publicly calling my family out for their actions is not the right thing to do. I will remind you that they started it by coming on the questionstream and by PMing commenters on my blog. The blogger who used me as her blog post of the day seems to be under the impression that she and maybe one other person were PM'd. That is so not true.
I know for a fact that my good friend Heide was PM'd and she handled the whole thing with the tact and grace that I have come to expect from her. She left supportive comments for me at my blog, told me privately that she was praying for me, and did not continue writing to my family, even to tell them how wrong they are.
Another blogger, over at the blog in question, left a comment speculating on what denomination my family might be involved in. Wesleyan? Are you nuts? Just what part of 'tongues-speaking' did you miss in my frequent blog posts about MYSELF? The last I knew, the Wesleyan church, which is an off-shoot of Methodist, does NOT preach anything like THAT. Yes, I was "kicked out" of a church about seven years ago. A small "word of faith" style church where the pastor was doing unscrupulous things with money and he knew I knew about it. This same blogger, who has never made any bones about how she feels about me, also feigned concern for me several weeks ago when she followed her pattern of writing out long and tiresome comments and then copying and pasting them on any blog and blog post that she can think of. She told me that she was very concerned that the fellow blogger I had taken into my home was an "abusive" man. Wait a minute....now, just HOW do you know this? Have you spoken to him? Do you know him at ALL?
Another blogger, formerly a very good friend of mine, agreed with her and told me that she could no longer communicate with me. Why then does she continue to e-mail me long messages full of rumor and mistakes? In a comment at the first bloggers post she claimed to have "spoken with" me a couple of times, but that is a lie. I called her at one point and she NEVER returned my phone call. We had several PM's but she, at no time, spoke to me. Her initial communications were so full of pre-judgment that I felt incapable of dealing with it at the time. Now, this very same blogger wrote to me last night and told me that "of course my family would LOVE Denis since he came in and cooked for us". Wait a minute....what part of 'abusive' should my family fall in LOVE with, hmmmmm? Is he abusive, or is he kind and loving? You can't have it both ways. I personally think you should shut your two-faced mouth. I didn't ask for your opinion then, I'm not asking for it now, and I will not ask for it in the future. You have not heard a word I've said, or you have seen it through the lens of your own experience, and I don't trust your judgment at all.
You mentioned Caleb's post.......I would like to make it clear that Caleb's feelings come not only from spending time with our family but he has also experienced, at a young age, the divorce of his own parents. HE is the one whose judgment I trusted then, trust now and will continue to trust in the future. If that doesn't set right with you, sorry, it's my life, isn't it?
As for the relationship between Denis and me...there seems to be some misunderstanding. I made it clear on my blog, and he made it clear on the questionstream, that while we were close and even had some 'feelings' for each other, that we had NOT had a physical relationship. I know, that's SO impossible for you all to believe, isn't it? In a response to a question on the questionstream he responded that he hasn't had a physical relationship with ANYONE, including his wife, for many months. What part of this are you people not getting? People seem to like to bandy about the fact that we lived at one of the lakehouses alone together for over a month. This was because the children, each of whom were asked to stay with us, went, of their own volition, (because we were 'annoying' re: previous post), to live with my husband. So, being 'alone' at the house was OUR fault?
Again, I am not posting all of this to ask advice although I have appreciated most of the advice that I have gotten. Yes, I am still struggling, in spite of the fact that there are four lawyers in our respective families. Two on my side, two on the other. None either live in NY state, or close enough to help. My brother in law told me in the beginning that the easier one can make the divorce, the less it will cost. That is exactly WHY I gave my husband the option of a camper and $12,000 a year. He agreed to that at first but then must have talked to someone because he started turning off credit cards, debit cards, cell phones, internet cards and stealing all the vehicles from me. Oh, did I tell you how the locks were changed on two of the three houses we own together? This is legal? I think not. Yet, what lawyer is going to take me with no money? Please don't answer that...I have one in the process.
In the end, money was never that important to me anyway. I am sleeping on a brand new twin size (for those gossipers out there who were wondering) air mattress at the moment and LOVING it. At long last I am free to be me and it feels awesome.
The only people I miss, in my whole entire life, are my three grandchildren. I may never see any of them again unless their selfish, vindictive parents change their minds about this so-called 'shunning' (and to think I thought only the Amish and Mennonites do that) they are perpetrating on me.
I have the little tiles that Virginia "Foxy Lady" made for me last Christmas, with their pictures on them lined up near my little bed so that I can see them and pray for them every night. You guys can be mad at me all you want, but you never took the time to actually talk to me since this whole thing started, even though I made a point of calling both of you (more than once).
One thing you have no control over is the love I feel for my grandchildren. It's like a universal law of grandparenthood. You can't stop the love, baby. In Ryan's case, I know for a fact that he will never forget me and what I did for him for a solid school year and beyond. All those sleepovers at the Lima House and the Long Point cabin are imbedded in his little mind and heart. I know, no matter what lies he is told about me, that he knows the love I have for him and that nothing, nothing, nothing can take that away. As for Christina and Ashlyn....I'm not so sure they will remember me as well, but I know that when I am in heaven with them I will know them, no matter what age they are, and they will know me.
I am the prisonerofhope for a reason. My hope is the one thing that no one can steal from me. You didn't give it to me and you can't take it away. Just remember one other thing Liza and Virginia....God did not give Ryan, Ashlyn and Christina just to you. They were given to all of us. I've heard it said that they come through us, but they are not of us. They are on loan from God, and not just for YOUR good pleasure. For His. If you keep them from me, and tell them lies about me, you will have to account to God for that.
One last point I would like to make before closing this out...I DID NOT REFUSE PASTORAL CORRECTION. My husband asked if I would go to marriage counseling with him (funny how I had mentioned that YEARS ago and he was NOT interested) and I said that I would talk to his brother who is a pastor and his wife. I couldn't make it on the day when it was first planned, and by the time I could I was already being starved and cut off from the outside world. People who don't know all the facts need to shut up. If I don't sound like the sweet, innocent Little POH that you have all become accustomed to, well, we all grow up sometime, don't we?
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I also was able to buy some pants too since 90% of my clothes were left on the camper that was never given back to me. Denis' clothes and art supplies were on there too but that is oh-oh-kay too because I know that God is taking care of him too and I have promised myself that when I can I will reimburse him for what my family took from him.
I'm sorry if certain people think I should be "suffering" because of my "backslidden condition"....apparently God doesn't see it that way and I was never much interested in everyone else's opinions anyway. Some of them are just such "monumental lies", you know what I mean?
