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a common housewife in the fast lane
Friday February 9, 2007
I got this today from Looking for Lucy. I love it! It is totally true and if men could just understand what women are saying it would save a lot of arguments and marriage counseling. Seriously!
A Guide to Words Women Use
1..
FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.. FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting
dressed, this means a half an
hour. Five Minutes is only
five minutes if you have just been given five
more minutes to watch
the game before helping around the house.
3.. NOTHING: This is the
calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on
your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in
fine.
4.. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do
It!
5.. LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks
you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
there and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the
meaning of
nothing.)
6.. THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most
dangerous statements women can make to a man. That's okay means she
wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will
pay for your
mistake.
7.. THANKS: A
woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just
say you're
welcome.
8.. WHATEVER: Is a women's way of saying f--k
you!
9.. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: Another dangerous
statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to
do several
times, but is now doing it herself. This will later
result in a man
asking "what's wrong," for the woman's response
refer to # 3.
10.. Send this to the men you know, to warn them about
arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Send this
to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause
they know its true
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Tuesday February 6, 2007
Sheeeesh, I've been hearing your voices............in my sleep even! I can hear you now, asking what is up with the kitty in the background............and not even so much the kitty, but all the pink! Kinna like Paris Hilton gave birth to a cat or somethin' and the progeny ended up on Little POH'S background!
Well, first of all, let it be known that even though POH likes her nature scenes best of all, I do like kitties and even though I know it wouldn't seem so.........I seem like such a PRACTICAL sort, don't I?.............. I do LOVE the frivolous color of pink in all of it's textures and shades.
Okay, so, that's NOT why I posted the kitty though.
First, I will tell you that in spite of the fact that I have not allowed a cat in my home for the past nine years or so, and Bookworm prolly thinks I don't like them because I have made some derogatory statements about cats on his blog, I am very familiar with cats having lived with them at different times most of my life and I actually do find them, the friendly, non-snippy ones at least, to be quite charming and soft and pettable. If the litter box stays cleaned out I don't even mind that too much.
Secondly, I only banned cats from the house the past few years because you know the way kids are......they promise and they promise and they promise.....but when it comes right down to it you have to bug the life out of them to get them to take care of the animal they said they would take care of till the day they die when you first got it. Can I just say I HATE being a nag.........and when it comes to animals I have had to be a nag in the past.
Besides that, we have had some bad luck in the past with a cat or two who, for one reason or another, decided that 'doing their business' somewhere in the house,
LIKE THE CORNER OF THE FAMILY ROOM ON THE CARPET AND EVENTUALLY SPRAYING PART OF THE WALL........ HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOO............
rather than outside or in the litter box was more fun............or at least more annoying, which prolly seemed more fun to them at the time..........until Little Happy POH became Little Frustrated POH who wanted to take said animal to the Humane Society................ like pronto, baby.
Now, however, something has happened to make me appreciate the species of catdom a bit more these days, and not just for their soft and furry coats or their sense of independence which Little POH appreciates very much, because I have enough needy animals........ooops, I meant children......to feed and clean up after without adding needy animals into the mix.
Ummmmm............................................................
WE HAVE NOTICED THAT WE HAVE A MINOR PROBLEM, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE WINTER TIME CAME UPON US, WITH MICE IN THE BASEMENT OF THE LAKEHOUSE.
CAN ANYONE SAY "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"?
Well, if you can't, don't worry about it. Little POH can say "EWWWWW" very loudly all by herself.
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
Yes, we've used the mouse poison and that works fairly well......but then when my neighbor's cat down the street got herself...........
uh................
mmmmmmmmmmmm......
let's see, how you call...........
in a family way....................
Little POH thought it might be a good idea to take in some kitties.
Not just one, mind you, either. Like two or maybe more. You know.......in Foster Care we have been told that it's good to keep siblings together whenever possible, right? We're following that line of thinking here. Yeah, yeah, keep the siblings united, baby.
So, the kitties should be born shortly.......a few days was what I've been told. One parent is all black and short haired and the other parent is gray and 'fuzzy'.....well, that was the description I was given anyway. This post and the background are in commemoration of our soon to be new kitties.
Maybe my motivation for taking these animals off the hands of this young couple are not the purest of the pure....
I mean, is it okay, Bookworm, to just take some kitties because you got a mouse problem?
But you can be sure that I have memorized the verse from Proverbs about "a righteous man takes care of his animals" and I will definitely not neglect or otherwise abuse my animals. I will love them and take care of them and get them fixed and give them their shots..................
and they will catch my mice for me, okay? Plus, my kitty loving children are happy with me now! Doesn't that sound like a fair deal?
Thank you. That's what I thought too.
Well, either enjoy or be annoyed at my background for just a couple of days cause as much as Little POH likes kitties and the color pink, I can TOTALLY see this whole thing getting on my nerves in short order and finding myself needing to go back to a raging waterfall or somethin'.
Gotta go now............I think I need to go out and buy some kitty litter and a scooper.....................
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Monday February 5, 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m
not going to lie. I don’t like to fast. Part of me hates it. It is
hard. Fasting is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my
entire life. It is strenuous and tiring and sometimes I feel like I am
going to go out of my mind with emptiness and hyperactivity. People who
have never fasted don’t know what it is like. Food is God’s Prozac. I
am naturally hyperactive to start with. When I don’t eat I can’t calm
myself and I can’t focus.
For the record this fast has nothing
to do with Lent or with Easter. I don’t follow those rituals. I don't
esteem one day higher than another. The kind of long term fasting that
I do is such a sacrifice for me that just fasting for the sake of Lent
is a foreign concept.
Yet I know that God is calling me higher
and for that reason I have learned to love it. Not love it in the same
way that one loves a baby, or a puppy, or an ice cream cone. But to
love it with the knowledge that in it there is something that is so
secret from man and so open with God…. so tenderly precious toward my
Jesus and so rock hard solid against the powers and principalities of
the air.
I have been so misjudged in the past, and it hurt me
so much. So much that at one time I thought I might die from the pain
that just wouldn’t leave my heart no matter how I prayed and how I
forgave. I never searched my soul so completely before or examined my
own mind and motivations so thoroughly. It was a trying time that I
never want to go through again. I will, mind you, if I have to, but I
don’t want to.
The forgiveness is complete now. I know that it
is. I know that if the ones that have wronged me came to my door I
would welcome them, I would feed them, and I would love them. God has
given me such a love, so deep down in my heart, that if they just came
to me, even without a word, I would hug them, and I would kiss them
with a holy kiss, and I would welcome them into my life. I would not
allow them to abuse me again, the same way a wise woman would not allow
an abusive husband to hurt her again even though she has forgiven him,
but I would love them. I know I would, because I do. I do right now.
I
know that they are not my enemy. They never were, even when I thought
they were. They were the tool that Satan used to hurt me, and they were
the answer to the prayer of my soul that God would allow me to grow up
and show me how much He loves me. Had they not abandoned me, and
slandered me, and left me outcast and emotionally bleeding, I would
never have found His Spirit calling unto my spirit. His deep calling
unto my deep. Never. I would forever have leaned on them. Not Him.
Maybe others can learn these lessons a different way. I believe He knew
this was the only way for me.
People are such fools. They sing
these simplistic songs in church. They sing, “Make me like Jesus. Give
me Jesus hands. Give me Jesus feet. Let me walk where Jesus walked.”
What fools. Don’t they KNOW what they are saying? Oh my God! Don’t they
understand what they are requesting? You better count the cost first
baby! This is not a game and God means business. If He let His own SON
go to the cross, do you think He will demand anything less from you?
Not a literal cross maybe, but ask our brother Peter whether God may
ask that of you. They hung him upside down!
We wonderful church
going folk sit in our padded pews, with our nicety nice program, and
our Sunday clothes on and we sing in these lilting, happy, sing songing
voices. Oh, don’t get too excited Connie, don’t jump around too much.
You might wreck your make up. You might start crying and your eyes will
get red and puffy and your face will get splotchy. Wouldn’t THAT just
be the WORST!? Wouldn’t it just be SO horrible to get SO full of the
Holy Spirit that you lose control of your tear ducts? Heavens, what an
embarrassment! Gee, you might make a complete FOOL out of yourself in
front of all these respectable people. All these well-dressed country
clubbers who are all dressed up with nowhere to go.
Where ARE
we going? What ARE we doing? What kind of Christianity is this anyway?
It doesn’t resemble ANY kind I ever read about in the Bible! Don’t
worry my friends, I can be WAAAAAY more undignified than THIS!!
OH
MY GOD! Jesus went through HELL! Have we forgotten that? Are we really
so ignorant that we don’t realize that to grow up in Him….to TRULY
walk, and talk and use our hands like Jesus did, we too are going to GO
THROUGH HELL! His hands and feet had NAILS in them, have we already
forgotten that?
We Christians have the NERVE to talk about
Christ and His sufferings while we sit in our lazy boys and our
brothers in China are on a cement floor at the bottom of a jail cell.
Do you really think that guy in Afghanistan is the only Christian being
persecuted for his faith? NO WAY! He is just the only one that made it
onto TV!
The Body of Christ is being persecuted all over the
world and we Christian Americans are watching American Idol and getting
upset because our favorite got booted off this week. Has it occurred to
anyone that the name of this favorite American pastime has the word
IDOL in it?
Our brothers, our very own brothers are laying on
the floor, right now, right this very minute, praying that God will
just take them from their earthly shells and let them come to be where
He is, and we are worried about what we are going to eat for breakfast
tomorrow. Gee, will I have Cheerios or Froot Loops? Who CARES! They are
existing on bread and water, when the guards actually feel like giving
it to them, and we are planning the next spaghetti supper for a bunch
of obese, slovenly, tired out, depressed and complaining so-called
Christians.
I am on a mission. I am on a mission from God. I
don’t know where I am going…I don’t know what I am going to do…I don’t
even know exactly what I have been called to. All I know is I have been
called. Called to pray, called to worship, called to intercede. For
what I’m not sure yet. I will leave that with the Lord for now. But,
take my word for it, I will know. I will. My goal is to know Him. To
know Him only. To know Him in Spirit and in truth.
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Sunday February 4, 2007
Well, today was a grrrreat day!
I hope you're reading this Theo, cause this is the day I was dreaming about, waiting for, and writing about last winter when I was fasting and praying..........and praying and fasting.
We found a HOUSE church. Not just one either, Theo. A whole NETWORK of them......all out near the lakehouse which is where we are planning to move to by this June.
Yesssireee! It was a banner day. Little POH got to worship....not just in her car all by herlonesomeself either, but with other believers. It was nothing short of AWESOME!
I got to hear some grrreat prrrreachin' and had a wonderful lunch too!
It was just the way 'church' should be........
Christians......believers in the Lord Jesus Christ......little tabernacles of God......just meeting in simple form.........
no need for padded pews and high paid entertainm...................oooops, I mean worship team.......just Christians who love the Lord, with all their hearts, minds and souls, and want to experience His presence without all the other trappings that so many of us have come to depend on when we go to church.
The difference between a house church and an 'established' church, as was pointed out during the meeting, is that when you meet in a special building, we call THAT the house of the Lord.............but really, Jesus meant for US to be the house of the Lord.
DAT'S what Leetle POH is talkin' 'bout!
Well, I am certain that there is much more to come.....maybe even Little POH and Mr. Hope will host a 'church' in the near enough future like God has put on our hearts to do. I hope I don't sound snippy or sassy when I say that I don't really care, not one little bit, what anyone else has to say about the rights or wrongs of 'house church'. It's taken a long time for God to bring me to the correct mindset on this and now to bring me into fellowship with others who feel the same way, and I'm not going back. You couldn't DRAG me back, baby. Don't EVEN try.
Whether we start a group in our own house or not doesn't seem to matter...for the moment it seems just enough to sit with other believers in the presence of God and just bask in the delight of it.
I was asked how I dealt with not having regular fellowship for so long. All I can say is that it was hard. Sometimes it was SO hard. I can't say that I know what it's like to live in a prison like my Chinese brothers, but in a way I do.......it's different, but there's still that sense of being cut off.
Well, I'm positive that I will have more to say about this in the days to come. All I have to say for now is................what a day..............yep, it was a banner day!
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Wednesday January 31, 2007
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