a common housewife in the fast lane by prisonerofhope

For those of you who know but more for those of you who don't, there is a non-Presidential campaign with a non-true non-candidate who has been slated for a run in 2008.

If you did not know this I am unsure how you could have missed it but I would encourage you to support the Blogstream non-Candidate for President of the United States, namely, Mr. WE WANT YOU, Ornery.

He is the perfect non-candidate. Humble, hardworking and non-auspicious. It is that last part that has Mr. Oh's Ho's in such a tizzy......and what a tizzy we are in. Who could ask for anything more............the Blogstreams own Mr. You Da Man, Ornery!

Now, before you go and visit Mr. Ornery's Corner, there are some issues that you should be aware of.

First of all, we have 2, count them TWO Vice Presidential non-candidates who for all intents and non-purposes shouldn't be let out of their cage..................uh, I mean their office. The mighty POH, non-Secretary of Getting Things Done is struggling to keep the situation under control but new “situations” and such keep arising and I have decided that I am dropping this from my agenda of things to get non-done. Mr. Fuzzy and Ms. Misty, aka The Princessident, herself, have so muddied the waters with their antics that no one is quite sure who is who, what is what, when what happened when, and how we are going to get out of this non-mess.

Mr. Thinks He Has Everything Under Control Ornery, has been somewhat incognito of late and his Corner is slowly turning into more of an insane asylum, what with people dropping their sanity off at that door, than a prim and proper office worthy of the title Office of the non-President........................of course after the last few administrations before us, maybe the office wasn't very worthy anymore anyway.

We also have another conundrum that POH is at a loss to deal with. It would appear that Mr. Won't Tell Us What He Does In His Free Time Ornery, has either gotten someone pregnant.........

or is pregnant hisself....................POH is not quite sure since that is not her department, being the one who only changes the diapers of the so-called products of conception from said........well.....let's just call them affairs of state......and can POH just say.....she is very non-judgmental in these issues but is NO LONGER accepting the phrase "Immaculate Conception" ANY MORE regarding these such things!

NW Matters and POH have been working together diligently to find Mr. Won't Show His Face for Love nor Money Ornery and it was POH's subtle and not so subtle idea to hog-tie Bodacious and make her cough up...........I mean, spit out.......

er, well, rather......non-equivocate......about not only Mr. We'll Getcha Come Hell or High Water Ornery's whereabouts, but about any other little thing that comes to the mind of POH and NW. We think that she has been hiding behind his non-desk, but we're not sure because we cannot locate her either.

There are other so-called situations at The Corner involving none other than our own blogstream Sherry, non-Director of Homeland non-Security. In addition, The Federal B**** Investigators have been challenged to change their name to the Federal Butch Investigators by our own blogstream Polar Bear herself, and Heide is currently quite frustrated that she has had to wait sixty some years for a tattoo, of all things, and may not get one now because POH has an aversion to putting ink under one's skin. There is one other "situation" that I just HATE to mention, seeing as non-insanity is the name of the non-game over there. It has to do with NW Matters. She has been hearing voices in her head and has, to my knowledge, been following their directives. These voices speak in several different languages and while they are very versitile and volitile, ranging from non-important matters of state to very important matters of the heart, POH is having a very hard time discerning which one is the REAL NW Matters. Tune in for further developments.

Oh, it is all so non-melodramatic and POH is weary just trying to remember what all is going on and how to control this playground of childr..........I mean, non-politicians.

It would appear that the more scandals occur the more interest there is in the campaign to the point where Mr. All He Wants To Do is Drink His Coffee and Eat His Bagel Ornery is terribly afraid that this non-campaign will turn into a true campaign and he will have to occupy the true non-oval office and won't be able to wear his non-famous slippers anymore.

There is also some fear that the stress of the “situation” as it is currently being called, will turn him back into Dr. Oh at a moments notice and then who KNOWS what could happen? The point of this post was not really to tell you what is happening in The Corner with Mr. Oh and his Ho's, as the blogstream wimmen have been known to call themselves (well, all except for POH, who made it clear that she don't ho....even for Mr. Oh).

The real reason for this post is to tell you all that Mr. Oh has been spotted in various places...................like I said, incognito. You will note that he is wearing a full toupee...........or rug as Burt Reynolds would say..........and seems to be trying to fit into the general public as best as he possibly can. That young girl (there are some rumors about her too.......something about her once being his adopted daughter!) next to him is one tip off that we have found the REAL Mr. Oh. The unavoidable wearing of spectacles makes it also fairly certain that this is he who we need and will dance with glee when once we see.

To be continued......................................

BTW, Mr. Doesn't Want to Let His Wimmen See His Face Ornery.....to borrow a phrase from our esteemed Lucy...........

YOU'RE BUSTED!