The revelations about some relationships with people whom I have esteemed (far) above every other relationship in the whole wide world have boggled my mind lately and set me on a path for the rest of my life from which I can now never turn back.

When I made the choice to leave my marriage, I knew that my children would be hurt and confused. I felt bad about that. We were not people to expose ourselves too much, even to the children. Truth be told, there are few, if any, on this earth who know the true intricacies of my long-term marriage....

It has only been since I have done this thing that my eyes have been opened to the truth of not only how my own mother and four sisters feel about me, but how my very own children feel about me too.

I've never expected to receive a lot of love back from any of my children. A little common respect and decency would have been nice though. When one of my daughters clothed herself in the name "Foxy Lady" recently and slipped around the blogstream and the questionstream spreading lies, gossip and slander (she still has not spoken directly to me about anything since her father and I separated) I was so stunned that I thought for SURE that it COULDN'T have been one of my kids, to the point that I falsely accused another blogger (who was hurt at the time), something that I am eternally sorry for. The lack of respect this daughter showed toward me, and the things that she said, based only on family gossip, not on truth, still shocks me, even to this day, when I allow myself to think about it.

Then this happened.

I will allow Vision to share the details. The title of this piece is:

"You'd Rather WHAT?!?" (How The Prideful Fall...)


Yesterday, Hope and I were Shown Evil... After everything people have been throwing at us recently, after All the "Darkness" that has been slung upon us, we both Saw the Hypocrisy that is the Foundation for those who Condemn.

I had already been Shown this particular (and Deeply-hidden) Evil the night before... I SAW it coming, and I told Hope that (depending on Her Choice,) I would need to Move out. She didn't understand at first, and-rightfully So... I didn't go in to Detail, because Detail can Affect Choices, and (as I keep Trying to tell Everyone)- "It's ALL About The CHOICES;" so for me to say anything BUT; "I need to get a place of my Own" could have (and WOULD have) affected the outcome of Many things...

This Evil-this Truth that I had Known for quite some time Wasn't Evil from Afar... It wasn't "long distance," it Wasn't "from a stranger,"- instead, (and Sadly) it was as Close as Hope's own Heart.

Hope's son, (a "Theology" Major who is also getting a degree in Teaching, and is a Self-professed "Man of God,) had (during an argument several weeks before) openly and Proudly said that "a woman Cannot be "Raped" in Any way if she is married to her husband because "the woman's body BELONGS TO her husband (according to Scripture...")

THAT in Itself was what God used to open the "Door" for me in to his Spirit; and I was able to "step into" him and "See" what he was Really all about Beneath his deceptive Cloak of "Godliness." I told Hope Then what I had Seen Inside of him, and had Warned her of his True Darkness; but-because Hope HAS Hope and Love and a Strong Desire to Continue to have both of those when it comes to others (especially "family;") she was just too Close to it to see, and there was really nothing I could Do at the time except tell her what I was Supposed to tell her, and Wait for God to Show her in His Own Way...

Saturday night, after talking with her son about the current situation involving the family, he confessed to us that (he) would rather live with Hope and me than to live with his dad (for many different reasons). As SOON as Hope and I got back to the other house, everything Dark about her son came like a Flash to me; and I KNEW that if Hope Decided to allow her son to stay with us, I would have No Choice BUT to leave, because I simply Cannot be around THAT kind of Darkness-thus; my telling her I would need to get my own apartment.

The next morning, however; God Decided to Intervene and put a Stop to MY leaving by Exposing her son's TRUE colors in front of Hope, myself, Hope's soon-to-be ex-husband, and one of her adopted daughters. As Hope, her former husband and I argued about her former husband's Lies, Treacheries, Deceit, and flat-out Crap he was pulling, and Exposing the reasons Behind all of it; her son showed up, and (once Again) involved him SELF in what was going on.

Hope tried telling him what his dad was REALLY up to, and how he had Admitted to All of it right to her face, and All her son could do was get on his high-horse, become self-righteous and Pious, and tell Hope (his own mother) that Divorce is "Never Acceptable" to God-(even though her son has Never BEEN married, and still lives at home at 29 years old...)

Hope told her son that if she Hadn't decided to divorce, she would have ended up doing something like going on a "Fast"- only instead of just abstaining from food, as she normally does for long periods of time when she fasts, she wouldn't drink liquids either-something she would have been able to accomplish easily because NO ONE in her "family" would ever Think about HER long enough to even Notice; and she would have just slowly slipped away for Good. She knew that this was wrong to think but it's the truth.

She then asked her son point-blank; "Isn't divorce BETTER than my Death?" and (without even a Second passing) her son rose up, became Visibly Threatening, and yelled; "I'd RATHER you DIE than get divorced!!!"

WOW.... From his OWN Self-Righteous, "God-Loving" "I want to be a Preacher" mouth...

There are FAR too many other details about her son to go in to-let's just SAY that he has MANY problems-Including SEVERE Rage and Intolerance when Anyone says Anything the LEAST bit Contradictory to what HE "Believes in;". The fact that He CONFESSED that he would "prefer the Death of his OWN Mother" to her getting Divorced speaks VOLUMES about what's REALLY in his Heart and Spirit-and he WILL be Judged Accordingly FOR it.

I, personally, don't know HOW he expects ANYONE to allow him to "teach" Anyone-Especially with his Uncontrolled Rages, Delusions, VERY Profuse moments of Reality Loss, and his Overall Sense of Self-Righteousness; but I CAN tell you that ANY son who CLAIMS to be such a "Man of God" who Yells out that he WISHES his mother would DIE instead of divorcing the man who has treated her badly for the past 36 years is NOT the kind of "Man of God" I would EVER want to see being Allowed to teach, or Preach, to Anyone, at Any time, for Any reason...

And Hope and I are the ones who are "doing a Bad thing???" Methinks this entire "family" are Really nothing More than a Den of Selfish, Spoiled Vipers-and from what I've "Seen" and witnessed in Person-they ALL have a LOT to Answer for. I PRAY they See the Light in Time...
Love and Peace to All
Vision