I just wanted to leave a quick message to those of you keeping track.

Please don't worry. God is very good to me and I am doing well. A little fast never hurt anyone, but even now the operative word is "little". Just so you know, I am eating......more than enough, I'm sure.

For children of mine who insist on leaving angry and judgmental comments on my blog and then quoting a verse about "not associating with an angry man" (or woman I suppose) should I presume that you are telling me not to associate with YOU? I will take it that way until further notice.

I have waited and waited for someone in my famkly to follow the biblical injunction to speak to me FIRST, or at the very least accept MY phone calls to speak to you. Apparently my "sin" that you seem to think I am committing is not any greater than yours. I keep being told how "hurt" my children are....I get that. I wish people would stop saying it. And I haven't been hurt? Never? I respect the fact that my children may be hurt...yet, remember, these are not "children", as in "little"....the one leaving comments on my blog is in her THIRTIES. Time...and high time....to GROW UP.

I am not going to give any more details about anything now, knowing that every member of my family is monitoring my blog and are doing everything in their power to come against me, hurt me physically and emotionally, and make sure that I am "paying" for "my sin".

Isn't it interesting that I practically had to BEG them to look at my blog two years ago when I started it, and then when they DID start reading it they never even told me and began to use things that I wrote about myself against me.

As for comments left (and deleted) inferring that Denis came here to break up my marriage and that I knew it beforehand are just ludicrous. I have already ADMITTED to being vulnerable. I KNEW THAT and admitted it before anyone else had a chance to accuse me of it. That's what I meant about knowing my weaknesses intimately and living my life openly. There is nothing you can accuse me of, and no scripture that you are going to toss at me, that I have not already considered. For the one's that think that Denis and/or I are the "angry" ones, all one needs to do is look at the viciousness of the comments that are hurled my way on my blog. Oooops, I deleted them. Oh well, I'm sure "sick and tired" (most likely "Foxy Lady"...that name "foxy" should give you a clue to what I am dealing with here) will be back.

The daughter who thought I was "mentally ill" for taking in Gabriel and who also thinks I am "mentally ill" now, told her father back when Gabriel was here that we needed to get back into the "established church" and "under a Pastor" and that THAT is why MOM (not Dad, who is merely "weak" donchaknow....passive/aggressive is the term that was coined to describe THAT behavior) is "ill". Please catch that...because I am not "under a Pastor". The operative word there is UNDER. Hmmmmm, I seem to remember a man named Jim Jones...a Pentacostal Assemblies of God, tongues speakin' "Pastor" who split his congregation, took half of them to Guyana and served them kool-aid at the "spaghetti supper/fellowship time" he provided. Oh wait, maybe he left out the spaghetti. Sorry, my bad.

If anyone thinks that ANY Pastor is going to be able to change my mind anymore than my self-serving, indulgent and ungrateful children then they have a seriously OTHER thing coming. If you don't believe me just ask the Pastor who kicked me out of his youth group because I refused to stop the kids from coming over to my house any time they felt like it. He threatened me. He told me that I "would NEVER be a youth leader in his church AGAIN"

Whoa....seriously, WHOA! Wait a minute, you asked ME to be a youth leader, remember? And now it's MY fault that the kids like me and like to visit all the time and read their Bibles and sing worship songs to the Lord with me? I mean, isn't that the POINT? Seriously? If I remember correctly my response was "I don't need to be a youth leader.....I'm a mother...a "professional" MOTHER". Oooops, he didn't like that too much. He thought I liked being a youth leader so so much that I would do ANYTHING to retain the title. Sorry, YOUR bad on that one.

Guess what folks, I don't HAVE to be a mother anymore either. I mean, I would LIKE to be...and I still could if my children would talk to me more than they talk to each other (and my mother, whose been shutting me up about God for my whole life---I know, THIS is the woman whose opinion should be taken over mine....whatevah!).

I did not LEAVE my family. All I did is say that I don't want to be married anymore, okay? That's it. One of my kids said to me the other day that I "wouldn't have left if it weren't for Denis". I know what they meant and while they were wrong in their perception of motive, I will say that the statement has some merit. They are right.....Denis, after trying his hardest to fix something that was too broken to fix finally believed me and then started helping me reclaim myself and take charge of my life. If that is a bad thing to do then so be it. I don't happen to think it is and I do not believe that God thinks it is. What is the magic anniversary number when things change? 40? 50? 60? How long, O Lord? I admit that I am naive in many, many ways. Lookin' gently laughed at me today for how much I admit that I don't know. Well, growing up is always a good thing, right? Better late than never as they always say.

Again, please don't worry about me and/or Denis. We are fine. The tears were momentary and Lookin', you are awesome girlfriend. Thanks for being there for me. I love you.