Life continues to be heating up here and I am not just talking about the temperature on the thermometer.

I am meeting new people all the time and will be spending, due to my job, less time on the computer than I have been the past week or so. That is oh-oh-kay. Working is good. I like working.

Just a note to Camilla, who apparently is sooo concerned that I am 'mentally ill' and that the family might 'lose me forever'......keep in mind, dearheart, that I asked you NOT to tell everyone my private business and to let me tell them myself. You told me that you would not. You not only lied to me, but gossiped as well. In less than 24 hours my mother and every single one of my sisters knew the story. At least from YOUR perspective. My atheist sister Christina told me over the telephone that I am no longer welcome in her home and that there is NO WAY that GOD could approve of my actions. Excuseme por favor? Just WHAT God is THAT? The one you have been telling me to shut up about all of these years? The one you told me yourself was a 'crutch'? Keep your opinions to yourself please. Especially since you AND Camilla have BOTH been divorced. Camilla has been married THREE times if my count is correct. I'm sorry I'm having trouble hearing you.....the hypocrisy is causing temporary deafness.

I talked to my brother-in-law the lawyer early on right about this time. I told him how I had asked Camilla not to spread the news, that I would like to do it myself, and that she had done it anyway. He laughed and said, "Oh Connie, you KNOW your family can't keep a secret". Well, no Don, I didn't know that. Apparently I haven't been in that loop all of these years. I am beginning to thank God for small favors I didn't even know He did for me.

Camilla said she is afraid of losing me? Seriously? And just what kind of effort have you made to contact me, hmmmm? It would seem to ME that you are just trying to make YOURSELF look like the wonderful and caring sister you proved that you are not. If you truly think I am mentally ill, wouldn't you want to help me MORE....not LESS? Don't worry, sweetums....I don't need your help. Don't take that as bitterness....take it as a new streak of independence on the part of the "slow" sister.

I'm doing just fine on my own. I have a job, I have a wonderful car, I have my own apartment (and yes, I DO live BY MYSELF, thank you very much), I have a laptop, I can get internet within walking distance of said apartment, I have plenty of food to eat (finally) and a comfy-fied airbed. I even have some pretty plants on the window sills of every room in my little apartment to cheer me up. I wash my clothes out every night and hang them on a little wooden clothes drying stand that I got. I am reading my encyclopedias, the magazines that the lady upstairs throws away, and my Bible. I am writing more than I ever have....not just on my blog, but in about 5 separate documents.

No need to worry about me, precious. God is closer than ever and life goes on. I am training myself to look back less and less and to look forward more and more. When I look back I feel sad....when I look forward I feel happy. Forward is easier. Pay it forward. I heard it said recently that that is why the rear view mirror of a car is so small but the windshield is so big. Yep....that's what I'm talking about. My family would do well to forget about me unless they truly want to help me, or at least discuss things with me without preconceived judgements and gossip. If the latter is true you can write to me at defendersofthefaith2@excite.com. If it's not then you would be wise to shut your mouths because what you are doing is called gossip. God doesn't like it anymore than whatever it is you think I did that He doesn't like.

As for me, I am fine. I am still alive in the world. See my new icon? That wss just taken last week. Do I look dead yet? I am not mentally ill. Do I look deranged? I am growing up. There IS a difference.

I know it's a little late.....then again I was always a little slow, wasn't I?

PS. It's on days like this that I need a little Aretha.

Hit it!:

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