I was raised Episcopalian, so religious we genuflected before entering the pew and went to church on Christmas before we were allowed to open our presents. My four sisters and I wore dresses, hats, patent leather "maryjanes" and white gloves to church.

My husband was raised United Methodist. I believe his parents, while they never said so, were born again. They just didn't use that word.

At some point, after moving to the small town we live in, we starting attending a Baptist church. The Pastor had been raised Mennonite, but had gone to the Pentacostal college, also located in our town, even marrying the niece of the man who founded it. Later, we switched churches and started going to the large church associated with the school. After leaving there we went to a "Word of Faith" church associated with Rayma Bible Training Center. We also attended a Vineyard church for a period of time. That accounts for all my 52 years. All in all, 50 years in some kind of church.

I tell you all that to say that while my affliations are checkered, my attendance has not been. There have been no extended periods, until the past 18 months, that I have gone without attending church. I raised my first three children in church, religiously going every Sunday. Even when my husband didn't want to go. I didn't drive, and I wanted to go, so I would walk the mile it took to get there, with them in tow.

I don't believe in that church anymore. Not that I don't love the people that choose to stay, or think that they are not Christians. God forbid that anyone get that impression. That is for God to decide.

I don't even necessarily think they are wrong for staying as it is all that is available unless one is willing to take the risk, and a great one it can be, at least around here, to step outside of that box.

I am also am of the opinion that God uses the "model" or the paradigm that we are currently entrenched in. While I don't believe that we are experiencing His fullness, which I believe He wants us to, I do think that the church, such as it is, is serving God in the only way that they know.

It has become my conviction over the past five years that the paradigm we are using is an Old Testament model. I describe it this way. It is triangular. Take your hands and form a triangle. Put the Pastor at the top, the elders and deacons next down, the cell or home group leaders next, the Sunday School teachers, etc. next and all the rest of the peons, oops, I mean congregants at the bottom. (Sorry, I'll try to avoid sarcasm).

The way I see it, every church is set up that way. Large, small, in between. I even know house churches that still run with a Pastor at the top who does at least ninety percent of the preaching and controls all other aspects of the church. This is a triangle. It is based on David's and Solomon's concept of building a Temple for the Lord, and God's presence residing in the Holy of Holies. This was God's will at the time. God gave specific details about exactly how He wanted it built, decorated and used. Our churches, while not as ornate, are still based on the concept of the priest at the top, asst. priests, and other workers to maintain the Temple, the church, and the inner and outer courts philosophy. Generally, if the house church that is run on this model gets big enough, they too will eventually become a "regular" church, buy or rent a building, and become entrenched in the same rut as everyone else. It's what we know.

This may have been God's plan at the time but I do not believe it is now. Has not been since Christ died, rose, and left His Spirit inside of us, making us living tabernacles, a whole nation of royal priests.

It is my contention that the NT version is flat. Take those same hands and flatten them out in front of you. Move them back and forth, over and under, in and out. It is my opinion that that model is what God intended. Everyone submitting to and serving one another in love. When I truely think of it I almost cry. What a concept!

The original church was just a group of fired up, Holy Spirit filled believers meeting in homes, encouraging one another, sharing food, lodging and their possessions. Apostles arose from the group, specifically the disciples that had followed and been disciples of Christ Himself while He was on earth. According to my Bible School trained son, having seen Jesus and walked with Him was a prerequisite, at the time, for being considered an Apostle, which is why there was some disagreement, at one point, why Paul should not be considered an Apostle.

In any group of Christians, the cream will rise to the top, and the ones that have been walking close to the Lord for a long time will automatically be looked to for guidance. The key word there is guidance. Not control. Even Paul, in his letter's to the Corinthians may have rebuked them, sometimes harshly, but still left them room to figure some stuff out for themselves.

When Constantine got saved and insisted that Rome be considered a "Christian country", thus began our descent into the model of church that we presently follow. The buildings, the programs, the priests. The fact that in the time of Martin Luther people were actually required to pay "indulgences" is just shocking! When I chaperoned a field trip to Boston a couple of years ago we went to the Old North Church. The one that Paul Revere started and ended his ride from. I sat in one of the boxes that people paid fees to own for their families. People with out enough money to pay had to stand. This practice followed the Puritans from England. How this must have hurt the Lord!

Some of these practices have been abandoned but I do not believe that church leaders today are unaware of who tithes and who does not. I also believe that many tithers are treated differently than people who do not.

It is my opinion that the model itself forces Pastors to adopt a somewhat controlling attitude. I don't blame them, I blame the model. They are expected, by the very constituency of the church they run, to be "in charge".

People have always wanted a king, amen? God tried to warn the children of Israel about the dangers of a king but it must be hard wired into us.

As Christians we start out wanting someone to tell us what to do. As we mature in the Lord, unless we begin to feel stifled, we like that someone else is doing the lion's share of the work to coordinate everything and prepare a wonderful sermon that all we have to do is listen to.

Church is so EASY, isn't it? Unless we are in leadership all we have to do is come, enjoy a tasty, predigested morsel of the Word, and donate a bit of our "precious free time" to doing some menial task designed to make us feel useful. Even in the smaller churches I have been involved with, where I cleaned bathrooms, made floral arrangements (in my punch bowl!), led prayer meetings, and helped set up bands for the church cafe, I still did not exhaust my energy or potential. And this is on top of my abundant home life.

I don't believe that the life of the Christian is supposed to be EASY. His way is narrow, the way of suffering. Yes, there is joy, but the reason the peace passes understanding is because our circumstances, very often, ARE NOT peaceful. I don't believe we should LOOK for martyrdom, but I do think that suffering will find us if we truely follow His path. How can it not? His way is so divergent from the world.

I will leave you with that for now and my next post will be less about what is wrong with the church and more on what we can do to change it. I will warn you, however, that I do not believe that change will come from within. That is like trying to change Communism by placating it. It will come from outside what is called denominationalism but is really just an old model that has invaded every denomination.